I'm going to this meet tomorrow, and it's a Lolita meet, but this guy (not a brolita) keeps turning up to our meets and making me and my friends really uncomfortable and staring at us. He wears steampunk (has one outfit) and insists he's a lolita. He's really rude about things like where we choose to eat and is really condescending and sexist. what do I do about him? I want to go to meets but he ruins them. Should I make a new loli group without him?

Has anyone talked to him about it? Because if not he needs to be told off. Talk about everyone in the community and make sure they all agree with your point of view and then tell him that if he wants to have anything to do with the community anymore he needs to cut the crap. Tell him that he’s really rude and really sexist and that he makes everyone uncomfortable with the way he acts. Sometimes just pointing those things out to people can make them realize that they’ve been an ass and maybe he’ll apologize and try to stop acting that way. But if he continues to be a dick about it, tell him that you don’t want him to show up at any more meetups. If your comm is a facebook group I believe the admins can remove him from the group and if it isn’t already, make it a closed group so he can’t see when or where meetups are. Give him a chance in case he’s just an awkward person who might potentially be able to become a decent person, but if he ruins that chance you should really try to get him out because that’s ridiculous and you shouldn’t keep someone around who literally makes everyone in the community uncomfortable.

I love Lolita, I really do. But I ran into a few of Lolitas who are negative to the very idea of wearing things other than Lolita fashions. I'm not quite sure how to handle these sort of situations. Any advise how to calm things down?

Just stand up to them as politely as you can. For some people it just isn’t realistic to wear Lolita 24/7. People have work uniforms, people have schools with strict dress clothes, people have classes or jobs that can get messy, and sometimes people just don’t want to put a whole ton of effort into an outfit for a day of lounging around the house and maybe making a trip to the grocery store. There are plenty of logical reasons to choose to go periods of time without wearing Lolita and it is completely ridiculous to treat anyone poorly for any of these reasons.

I'm starting up a community here. I was wondering what I should do if someone is being rude to others even after talking to them about it. Do I "kick them out"? I feel wrong outcasting people out

If they’re just blatantly being rude to people all the time I would maybe talk to them about it. “I’m sorry to say this but a few people have told me that you’ve been quite rude to them and it’s making some of us uncomfortable about having you as a part of this community as we would like it to be happy and as drama-free as possible. Please keep these things in mind in the future. Thank you.” If they ignore your warning or they’re rude to you about the situation, I think that’s grounds for asking them not to be a part of the community anymore.

Submission: Houston community

tyranuevavu submitted:

To the Houston brolita, Houston has a sizable (and accepting) community. There are frequent meetups. The Facebook page is:

Hi, I feel pretty lonely on my side of the world. I don't know any other lolitas that live in my area (if any actually do). How would I find other lolitas and lolita meetups in my area or nearby? Especially for meetups, do they just post events on EGL or something, like how do you know one's happening or coming up?

Try this. And if that doesn’t help, try the LJ list linked there too.

Soo I'm a new black-American Lolita and so far I'm a loner. My friends are really supportive, and my family is just...well they try not to make me feel too bad. I've always been considered the weird one anyway. I've heard some bad stories about other Lolitas not being so accepting of lolitas who aren't Japanese, or don't fit the perfect lolita look. I'm tall, flat, and my skin is pretty dark, but it's what i like. I have diverse friends, how can i find a more mixed lolita community?(in person)

That’s stupid. Considering the majority of the Lolita community outside of Japan is made up of people who aren’t Japanese, nobody has any right to tell you that you can’t be accepted for how you look.
Anyway, the best way to find a Lolita community around you is to look online for communities in your area. I’m currently working on putting together a list of regional communities which I should have up soon but until then look on Facebook and LiveJournal for a community near you.

Submission: Hi there! This is the group for the Mississippi Lolitas!

submission from lalunepleure:

We’re really tiny now, but we just had our first meetup! It would be really awesome if you could help get the word out about our group because it’s really hard to get the word out just by word of mouth around here. >___<

Anyways, here’s the link to our fb page!

Submission: SoCal Lolita Meet-Up!
Is there anyway to find out about meetings in SoCal? The SoCal forum on livejournal like, never updates!

Try joining the California Lolita’s facebook group. There is a SoCal one too but it doesn’t have very many members and doesn’t seem very active.

I just wanted to know if there's any other Lolitas in SoCal?

Oh there are plenty. Look at this list to see if there are any active LJ communities. They may also have a facebook group as well.