It’s been a while since I’ve made a post like this, but it’s something that needed to be said considering the number of people who ask me how they can “tone down” Sweet Lolita.

Background art by Imai Kira

It’s been a good while since I actually made one of my traditional tip posts but this just hit me and I can’t believe I never thought of it. I was looking for a blouse to go with a skirt that I just finished making and then I realized that the bodice of an OP I have is perfect!
It definitely won’t work with every OP, but if you have a solid colored OP that doesn’t have a lot of detailing in the bottom (because it might create lumps in the skirt) and isn’t longer than the skirt, but has a pretty bodice it could be worth experimenting with.

So many new Lolitas say things like “I can wear whatever I want!” and that’s true, you can, but not everything is Lolita. The so-called “rules” are not there to limit your creativity, they are just there to separate things that are Lolita from things that aren’t. If you want to wear a mini skirt with no petticoat and cheap lace, go for it if that’s what makes you happy, but there’s no reason to call it Lolita if it isn’t. That would be like wearing a shirt from Hollister (logo plastered across the front and all) and saying it’s Goth just because it’s black. Wear what you like! But if you want to be a Lolita, understand first what does and does not work for the fashion.

It’s time to get started on the first official Lolita Tips Holiday Gift Exchange!

Yaaaaay~! (I know it’s early but I want to give people plenty of time to get their submissions in.)

What is the Lolita Tips Holiday Gift Exchange?

The Lolita Tips Holiday Gift Exchange is an event that I am hosting to help Lolitas make new friends and pen pals and to share Lolita love with eachother! The goal is to get as many Lolitas (or those of you who hope to become Lolitas) as possible to share gifts for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus, or whatever Winter holiday you happen to celebrate. (If you don’t celebrate any Winter holidays you can still participate though!)

How Does It Work?

Between October 4, 2012 and November 4, 2012 I will be accepting submissions for the gift exchange. By sending a submission you are agreeing to take part in the gift exchange which means that you will be both sending and receiving a gift. (Keep in mind that the person you send a gift to will not the the person who is sending you a gift. This gives you a chance to make an extra friend!) By November 11, 2012 I will have sent you a message with the information of the person you will be sending your gift to. You will then have until December 1, 2012 to send your gift. This timeline helps to keep me organized while making sure that everyone has plenty of time to get purchase their gifts and send them.

How do I sign up?

Between October 4th and November 4th, send me a submission titled “Gift Exchange Submission.” The submission should include the following information (as a bulleted list to make things easier for me):

• Your full name
• Your address
• Whether or not you are able to ship internationally
• Your feedback*
• Your Lolita style(s) of choice

*This can include your feedback page for the Comm Sales, Etsy, Ebay, whatever, as long as I know for sure that it belongs to you. If you do not have a feedback page of any sort please fill in the blank with “No feedback page.” This is for your security as well as the security of others so we can be sure you are reliable and everyone gets their gift. If you do not have a feedback page you will be paired up with others who do not have a feedback page. If someone does not receive their gift don’t think you can just disappear because I will be keeping track of who everyone is set up with. If you partner does not receive their gift I will come to ask you about it. This is supposed to be a happy experience! Please do not be a jerk by not sending a gift!

Also, if you are under 18, please have your parent/guardian’s permission before submitting your information! Just as with any giveaways I might do, I don’t want any parents to think I’m sketchy to ask for people’s addresses.

How will we be matched up with our partners?

After the deadline for submissions I will make lists of people who submitted based on if they can ship internationally and whether or not they have feedback. Based on these lists I will put names into random generators and use that to match you up.

What kind of gifts can I send?

There will be a price limit of $30 (not including the shipping you will pay to send the gifts) for this gift exchange! You can spend less but please don’t spend more! I think that’s a fair limit so nobody feels like they don’t have the money to send a gift. I would hate for someone to feel guilty about getting a gift that was somewhat pricy while they sent something that wasn’t.
Here are just a few ideas of gifts you can send!

• Small brand novelties (handkerchiefs, buttons, stationary, etc.)
• A cute plush toy (Hello Kitty, Rilakkuma, etc.)
• Vintage or antique jewelry
• One of my book recommendations
• A box of assorted teas
• A pretty journal
• A cute, Lolita (or loli-able) hair accessory
• Deco supplies
• Any handmade Lolita items! You can make something as simple as jewelry or if you have any scrap fabric lying around you can even make a skirt! (Although if you want to do that please make sure it can fit a wide range of sizes as you don’t know the size of your gift partner.)

Handmade items are especially a good idea if you are a skilled crafter or seamstress and you want to give a great gift without spending much money.
Please keep in mind your partner’s styles of choice as well! Even if you don’t personally like the style, take the time to learn about it and try your best to provide a great gift based on it.
Also, it would be great if everyone provided a card or a hand-written note. Just something to say “I hope you like your gift! Happy Holidays!”

The point of this gift exchange is to have fun and make friends, be they close by or far away. I was involved in a similar gift exchange before and it was a great experience so I hope everyone involved with this gift exchange has a great experience as well! (And yes, I will be participating as well!) If you plan on participating (or even if you don’t but you think it’s a good idea anyway) please reblog this to spread the word!

Gift Exchange art by rutella.

“Friendship isn’t about setting out to change a person into something completely different just because you want him to be a better match or an accessory for you… Friends should make you laugh, make you think, and bring new ideas and experiences to your life, not be some sort of collection of clones of you. If that’s what you want, it would probably be easier just to stay home and talk to your mirror.”
-Jillian Venters, Gothic Charm School

Yes, it’s great to have Lolita friends, but Lolita shouldn’t be the only deciding factor. Being the only Lolita around isn’t all that bad.

It seems that I get a lot of questions from beginners who are on a tight budget which leads me to believe that many of them may have always been on a tight budget for clothes. If you have always shopped at places like Wal-Mart and similar stores for clothes that’s fine, but it may mean that you aren’t used to very high quality clothes which can make you an easier target for shops like Milanoo trying to pass off their terrible quality items. Make sure you do extra research on where you should and should not shop for Lolita, what good and bad quality fabric and lace looks and feels like, and look for plenty of shop and product reviews before buying to make sure you get the best quality you can afford. Good quality doesn’t always mean it’s going to cost you an arm and a leg, you just have to know what you’re looking for.

That’s right! Lolita Tips has hit 5,000 followers! (Actually 5,070 but they sort of popped up unexpectedly while the art was being done.) Thank you all so much for following and thanks to dauphe for the art for the occasion!

Especially with OTT styles. Yes, it’s rude to stare, but Lolita can be a lot to take in the first time you see it. Someone might just really like it and they want to make sure they don’t miss anything.

Lolita takes a lot of inspiration from very rich places. Upper class Victorian society, the Rococo era, an overall elegance is important to a good Lolita coord. But dressing like a princess doesn’t always mean spending money like one. Train your eye to know if something appears to be good quality and you will have a much easier time getting an expensive look without breaking the bank. And don’t be frustrated if it takes a bit of time to get the hang of it.

(Because the colors make it hard to read.) “Be very careful when washing your Lolita clothes. A lot of fabric, even good quality fabric, will bleed the first time it is washed. Look for clothing care symbols and and if you can’t find any information on how to wash something, go for drycleaning.”

Based on my experience with washing a few Lolita pieces for the first time today. The amount of dye in the tub was really surprising. I’m thinking about making a tutorial video for washing petticoats and other things as soon as I can get my hands on a video camera.